A Love Letter To West Texas

This is a hard letter to write. I’m not sure if I even love you at all. Some of your ghost towns are so desolate and poverty-stricken that they could make even the most callous person alive feel sympathy. That ugliness was hard on my Yankee eyes and New England soul. And some of your mountains are so lonely that, had I taken the road trip by myself, and not with a friend as I did, I think I would have gone insane.

I can’t imagine living amongst poisonous snakes and endless miles of complete flatness, relying on McDonald’s food far too often. Yet you have much beauty, and I found inspiration on that endless drive from Austin to El Paso, especially in El Paso itself. But despite how interesting it was, I’m going to stop personifying you, West Texas.

My friend and I were in awe that, in earlier times, people even had the knowledge and grit to live out there. And sure, some of the mountains were lonely, because hardly any civilization was in sight, but they were also majestic. The song America the Beautiful hit different as we drove by their peaks. There was also something so exciting about being in the Wild West.

For example, at one point, we stopped at an 18th-century military fort that Native Americans destroyed. Why it would have even been necessary to attack a place in the middle of nowhere, I’m not sure. Nonetheless, we received an interesting mini lecture from the history graduate student who worked at the tiny museum. As part of our admission, he even offered us the keys to drive a golf cart around the fort ruins. While we did this, I FaceTimed my brother, and his confusion was so funny. “Why are you on a golf cart in the middle of the desert?” he asked. I explained the situation as I heard my mom scoffing in the background, saying she doesn’t even want to know what we were doing, which was fair enough. We were certainly on the road less traveled.

Once we finally got to El Paso, after eight or so hours on the road, a pleasant shock set in. The mountains were even taller and somehow more beautiful there than on the rest of the drive. Maybe they weren’t all that different, and we were just happy to be around more people.

In any case, our surprise deepened when we realized that we could see Mexico. While we knew that El Paso was near the U.S.-Mexico border, we didn’t know that while you drive on the highway, colorful, run-down houses stacked on top of each other are on your left, while Top Golf and Starbucks are on your right. Both within easy sight. It was jarring and fascinating.

These feelings only grew stronger when, the next night, we walked to the actual border wall. Though I never felt I needed to be in survival mode for a moment, I was definitely on edge. There is no doubting that a certain tension hung heavy in the air. Which is not surprising. We were, after all, at the dividing point between two countries.

We were some of the only white guys around, and some of the only English-speaking people around. As it happens, we were also both wearing colorful collared shirts as I rocked some aviator shades. We joked that people definitely thought we were undercover cops. But the joke is on them: we aren’t cops. What’s more, I was someone who many of the people around likely wouldn’t guess could converse with them. This was my main motivation for the trip in the first place: Spanish language stuff.

Before going to the border that night, I was at La Paz Language Academy taking the DELE¹ C1 exam. This is a standardized test administered by Instituto Cervantes, a non-profit organization created by the government of Spain to promote the language. C1 is an advanced proficiency certification. It is the second highest level in the CEFR.² I think I passed. They have to send the papers back to Salamanca for evaluation. The good news is, the only part of the exam they grade on the spot at the test center is the oral exam, and they told me I passed this part. But by the end of the summer I should know whether I received the full certification. It would mean a lot to me to gain this recognition from a prestigious organization.

After taking such a rigorous test, and having two nights of poor sleep at a cheap hotel, exhaustion overcame me. I just wanted to sprawl out on my bed in my clean apartment in Austin as soon as possible. So we took off early the next day, an extra large Starbucks cold brew in each of our hands.

On the way back, the novelty of the views had worn off, and I was sick of being in the car. But a captivating moment that woke me up was when we stopped at a ghost town called Toyah. It was quite sad. And also creepy. While almost every building was falling apart, with weeds growing everywhere and the impression that a bomb went off, there was one house that seemed active, with three dogs in the front yard. I wonder who the hell would be living there? And what they could possibly be up to? It’s hard to imagine it is anything good.

After being in a place like that, arriving back in Austin felt like going back to the future. And believe me, there is something about living in the future that is better than living in the desert. I never thought I’d be so happy to see a self-driving car.

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1. DELE stands for Diplomas de Español como Lengua Extranjera—Diplomas of Spanish as a foreign language.

2. CEFR stands for Common European Framework of Reference for Languages. It is the standardized guidelines for measuring skill in a language. A1 and A2 are beginner levels, B1 and B2 are intermediate levels, and C1 and C2 are advanced levels.