Don't Be like The Cardboard Class

For the love of God, please

In a haunting episode of SpongeBob Squarepants, a great tragedy befell the town of the Bikini Bottom—SpongeBob became normal. In case, for some bizarre reason, you haven’t seen this great philosophical commentary disguised as a kid’s show, let me summarize what happens for you.

But first, some background: SpongeBob is a unique guy. He’s a chatty, excitable weirdo who likes to do fun things. These idiosyncrasies bother his chronically grumpy neighbor Squidward, who’s perpetually pessimistic and hopelessly cynical.

One day, Squidward tells SpongeBob that he wishes he were more “normal.” This strikes a devastating blow to the faint heart of our yellow friend.

SpongeBob is so upset by the remark that he actively strives to become less like himself. He adopts a neutral tone, focuses on talking about the weather, and even develops a new physical shape. At his job as chef at the Krusty Krab, he trades his passionate burger-making for efficiency, setting up a cubicle by the stove. The chef’s kiss he would give each patty disappears, as does his individuality.

Patrick Star, SpongeBob’s best friend, becomes disturbed by his buddy’s devolution into NormalBob. NormalBob doesn’t want to go on adventures and lacks a sense of humor. He’s become dull, boring. Patrick does all he can to help.

But only terror saves SpongeBob from his descent into bland conformity. He sees Squidward become normal too, and this shocks him back into his authentic, eccentric self.

The episode’s lesson is clear: Do not become like what I call the cardboard class—people whose main goal, consciously or unconsciously, is to blend in.

Now, to risk stating the obvious—there’s nothing wrong with being “normal.” That said, I believe every human is born infinitely unique and bizarre in a good way. But many let their peculiarities get stomped out by societal forces.

Put differently, I think not leaning into your oddness and what makes you special is sad. But on the other hand, it is important to note that if you do lean into it, you’ll pay a price.

What do I mean? Let’s be real. Let’s keep it a buck, as they say where I’m from.

Just as people want to be in good shape until it’s time to get under that barbell, people want to be unique until it is time to actually live as a unique individual. Because if they do, they know that a legion of conformists reflexively draws their bows of mockery. Why? Because no one hates seeing individualists comfortable in their own skin more than a rank-and-file Star Wars Stormtrooper. Take the immortal words of the essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion.”

So how do you avoid becoming a member of the cardboard class, a NormalBob? I believe there is one answer that stands above the rest, and that answer is creativity. Whether it is making videos, running a business, doing stand-up, painting, dancing, debating, directing, drawing, singing, sculpting, conjecturing, writing, or whatever! Engage in the creative act.

But even if you don’t create, do me a favor and at least don’t be like the cardboard class. For the love of God, please. Say something unexpected. Be unapologetically original. Do something different. The world has enough small-talking NormalBob robots.

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With gratitude,

Jeff