The Five Best Decisions I've Made So Far
Besides being lucky
1. Dedicating myself to reading and writing
My brother and I still laugh at the motto of our elementary school, which said something like, “we read, we write, we learn.” But we’re laughing in admiration, because it is a damn good motto. That is how you learn.
And assuming you want to learn as much as you’re capable of, one without the other is not enough.
We all know that the idea of a writer who never reads doesn’t even make sense, like someone deciding to go live in Japan for the rest of their life but having no interest in learning Japanese. But I’d argue that a reader who never writes is in equally bizarre territory.
There is a deeper level of learning and understanding you’re missing out on by never writing. You don’t need to sit down and compose The Brothers Karamazov part two—although I hope you do—to enjoy the positive effects of writing. A basic journal is enough to enjoy the benefits.
When I first started using one, I quickly realized it was something I would keep doing for the rest of my life. There are endless practical benefits to doing it. The value of it is summed up well in a hilarious video I once saw of Jordan Peterson, in which, regarding the question of the importance of writing, he responds, “Well do you want to be competent and dangerous, or vague and useless?” So that is one way to put it.
Or, put more mildly, the author Ray Bradbury says to “Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens.” I can confirm that what happens is deeply meaningful. “Most of my friends who are put on that diet,” Bradbury continues, “have very pleasant careers.” The only thing I would add—and I’m sure Bradbury would agree—is that it is not only a recipe for a pleasant career, but a more enriched experience of life.
2. Getting addicted to weightlifting
My lord and savior during the pandemic was a garage. But it was no ordinary garage, it was a garage with a gritty gym inside of it, known by its rats as “Get Rights.”
During an era where almost everything was shut down, Get Rights—the garage in the backyard of my parents home—was always there for me and my friends. It also doubled as a casino during that period, but that’s a story for another time.
It’s weird that doing certain movements with heavy pieces of metal can bring you such peace. Yet it does. I’m glad I’ve devoted so much time to it that it has become a positive addiction.
It’s also strange that you can look forward to putting your body through such hell in this way. But when you’re in the shower after a workout feeling like a goddamn champion, or laughing with your buddy in between sets, it starts to make sense.
3. Not drinking that much
I recently went skiing in Vermont with my friend. Around noon, we stopped at a lodge on the middle of the mountain and each had two beers. Getting on the skis afterward and soaking up the views while shredding some black trails was incredible. Vibes were up.
But more than anything, moments like this strengthen my conviction that limiting alcohol in a disciplined way is a wise life decision. This isn’t two beers just ‘cause, out of habit. It’s two beers because I’m on a snowy mountain with my friend, soaking up spectacular views and breathing incredibly fresh air. Special events can warrant celebration in this way.
But I still believe that entirely eliminating it for periods is extremely helpful. After graduating from college, I didn’t consume any alcohol at all for a year and a half. In that time, I got a tech sales job, wrote way more, deepened my Spanish fluency, read extremely challenging books, and moved to Austin, which has proved to be an amazing place to live in so many ways. I credit being completely sober during this era as a big driver behind being able to do all that.
When alcohol is not a big part of your lifestyle in general, your energy and focus reserves soar. With this newfound wealth, you find yourself doing different types of things. Creating something, making progress in a skill, or having a eureka moment while reading a book. You just simply have more energy.
These are examples of what the ancient philosopher Seneca called the greater and surer pleasures: the pleasures of mind and spirit. Drinking alcohol is like buying a ticket to go watch a basketball game, where the greater and surer pleasures are like playing in a game and hitting a clutch shot at the end. The former is a good time, sure, but the latter is more rewarding.
I’m going to Peru with my girlfriend tomorrow, and I’m definitely going to enjoy some wine and cocktails during the trip. But I still prefer the greater and surer pleasures the vast majority of the time.
4. Learning a different language
Some people are confused by my obsession with speaking Spanish. Which is understandable, because I’m also confused by it sometimes. But what’s clear to me is that when I start having a conversation in the language, I slip into a flow state that feels like the first sip of coffee in the morning.
Having another language in my mind is now a part of me that I never want to lose. I want to give my future kids the gift of bilingualism. More selfishly, it’s just so much fun, speaking in a different tongue! When you do, it feels like you have a James Bond type of aura.
The lessons I’ve learned through language learning are valuable ones that I apply to other pursuits. For example, the process has helped me grasp the concept of the infinite game, and it has made me more of a Popperian in everything. It’s made me realize there is no end to learning and knowledge creation, and there never can be. No matter how many conversations I have in Spanish or how many New York Times articles I read in Spanish, there could still be errors to correct in my language skill.12
Another reason I love learning Spanish is how much it improved my ability in my mother tongue. As the writer Geoffrey Willans once said, “you can never understand one language until you know at least two.” And while that is a rather dramatic statement, there is some truth in it. The habit of considering the best way to say something, and always asking what things mean, naturally led to me speaking more fluently and writing more clearly in good ol’ English.
5. Becoming an explorer
Cynics who may have seen one too many people on Instagram reels talking about how much spring break in Cancún opened their mind will roll their eyes, but there are valid reasons why travel changes people so much, often for the better.
First off, there is the simple fact that your brain is mapping new territory. For anyone who’s ever played Minecraft, it’s like when new chunks are loading into a world. That’s not nothing. There is something going on there. That’s a special kind of novelty that sparks new perspectives and ways of thinking.
Then there is the cultural aspect. I’ll never forget this idea I read once that said something like the following: when you shed the assumptions and pressures and expectations imposed by your own culture, it’s as if all that is left are the things you actually care about, the things that genuinely interest you, as opposed to things you may do just to impress people or because you feel like you have to.
I first got a taste of this dynamic when I studied abroad in Spain during college, which is when I started this blog. “If you want to know the truth of who you are,” said the author Patrick Rothfuss, “walk until not a person knows your name.” There is a lifetime of wisdom in that line.
Let me end by saying this: as a rule, good decisions optimize for the long-term, while bad decisions optimize for the short-term. Good decisions are ones you tell your family about with pride; bad decisions are ones you tell your friends about with a smile.
You can imagine all the ways in which this mentality is useful across other domains. As the physicist David Deutsch says, you will always be at the beginning of infinity. There will always be more problems to solve.
The New York Times in Spanish, El Times, is completely free from what I’ve seen. I read it almost every day.
I love the subtitle of your essay. I agree with you and Ray Bradbury about writing every day, even if it’s just detailing the day’s activities or a book you’ve read.