The Five Best Decisions I've Made So Far
Besides being handsome
I’ve made many poor decisions in my life, but I’m not going to share any of them in this post. Instead, I’m only going to share information that paints me in a positive light, because that is what the internet is for.
1. Dedicating myself to reading and writing
My brother and I still laugh at the motto of our elementary school, which said something like, “we read, we write, we learn.” But we’re laughing in admiration, because it is a damn good motto. That is how you learn.
And I’ve come to believe that—assuming you want to learn as much as you’re capable of—one without the other is not enough, anymore than walking around outside in a snowstorm with only one boot is enough.
We all know that the idea of a writer who never reads doesn’t even make sense, like someone deciding to go live in Japan for the rest of their life but having no interest in learning Japanese. But I’d dare argue that a reader who never writes is in equally bizarre territory.
There is a deeper level of learning and understanding you’re missing out on by never writing. As I noted recently, you don’t need to sit down and compose The Brothers Karamazov part two—although I hope you do—to enjoy the positive effects of writing. A basic journal will suffice.
When I first started using one, I quickly realized it was something I would keep doing for the rest of my life. There are endless practical benefits to the practice. The supreme value of it is summed up well in a hilarious video I once saw of Jordan Peterson, in which, regarding the question of the importance of writing, he responds, “well do you want to be competent and dangerous, or vague and useless?” So that is one way to put it.
Or, put more mildly, the author Ray Bradbury says to “just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens.” I can confirm that what happens is as beautiful as the view of a California sunset from the beach, or something like that.
“Most of my friends who are put on that diet,” Bradbury continued, “have very pleasant careers.” The only thing I would add—and I’m sure Bradbury would agree—is that it is not only a recipe for a pleasant career, but a more meaningful, enriched experience of life.
2. Getting addicted to weightlifting
My personal lord and savior during the pandemic was a garage. But it was no ordinary garage, it was a garage with a gritty gym inside of it, known by its rats as “Get Rights.”
During an era where damn near everything was shut down, Get Rights—the garage in the backyard of my parents home—was always there for my friends and I. It also doubled as a casino during that period, but that is a story for another time.
It is weird that doing certain movements with heavy pieces of metal can bring you such peace. And yet it does. And I’m glad I’ve devoted enough time to it that it has become a positive addiction.
It is also weird that you can look forward to putting your body through such hell in this way. But when you’re in the shower after a workout feeling like a goddamn champion, or laughing with your buddy in between sets, or looking in the mirror with great pride, it starts to make sense.
3. Eliminating alcohol from my lifestyle
I recently drank alcohol for the first time in a year and a half.
My family was hosting a Christmas Eve party, and with so many friends and family together, I felt as giddy as a child opening presents from Santa for the first time. So I thought, screw it, pour me up. A couple days later, I also had some drinks with my old college roommates. We were at this idyllic log cabin on a snowy mountain in Vermont. We played poker for hours and laughed almost as much as we breathed.
Both of these experiences were fun. So. Much. fun. But more than anything, they strengthened my conviction that cutting alcohol out of my lifestyle was an excellent decision. I thought, okay, I feel a nice little buzz right now, but this just isn’t as good as other sources of pleasure I can tap into.
When alcohol is not part of your lifestyle, your energy and focus reserves soar, like a crypto meme coin during a bull market. With this newfound wealth, you find yourself doing different types of things. Creating something, making progress in a skill, or having a eureka moment while reading a book.
These are examples of what the ancient philosopher Seneca called the greater and surer pleasures: the pleasures of mind and spirit. Drinking alcohol is like buying a ticket to go watch a basketball game, where the greater and surer pleasures are like playing in the game and hitting a clutch shot in the fourth quarter. The former is a good time, sure, but the latter is more rewarding.
And listen, I’ll let myself enjoy some red wine or a Guinness here and there, on special occasions. Maybe even a Moscow Mule. But I prefer the greater and surer pleasures.
4. Learning a different language
Some people are confused by my obsession with learning Spanish. Which is understandable, because I’m also confused by it sometimes. But what is clear to me is that when I start having a conversation in the language, I slip into a flow state that feels like the first sip of coffee in the morning.
Having another language in my head is now a part of me that I never want to lose—I want to give my future kids the gift of bilingualism. More selfishly, it is just so much fun, using a foreign tongue. When I do, it feels like I have an aura of mysterious swagger that only people like Jack Ryan or James Bond possess.
What’s more, the lessons I’ve learned through language learning are valuable ones that I apply to other pursuits. For example, the process has helped me grasp the concept of the infinite game; and it has made me more of a Popperian in everything.
In other words, it has made me realize there is no end to learning and knowledge creation, and that there never can be so. No matter how many conversations I have in Spanish, or how many articles I read from El País, or how many podcasts I listen to about the history of Mexico, there could still be errors to correct in my linguistic skill.
You can imagine all the ways in which this mentality is useful across other domains. As the physicist David Deutsch says, you will always be at the beginning of infinity. There will always be more problems to solve.
Another reason I love learning Spanish is how much it improved my ability in my mother tongue. As the writer Geoffery Willans once said, “you can never understand one language until you know at least two.” And while that is a rather dramatic statement, there is some truth in it. The habit of considering the best way to say something, and always asking what things mean, naturally led to me speaking more fluently and writing more clearly in good ol’ English.
In summary, when you learn a new language you become a new person.
5. Becoming an explorer
Cynics who may have seen one too many people on Instagram reels talking about how much spring break in Cancún opened their mind will roll their eyes, but there are valid reasons why travel changes people so much, often for the better.
First off, there is the simple fact that your brain is mapping new territory, like Steve’s view of chunks loading into a Minecraft world. That’s not nothing. There is something going on there. Your neurons are firing in novel ways. That’s the physical aspect.
Then there is the cultural aspect. When you shed the pressures and expectations imposed by your own culture, it is as if all that is left is the things you actually care about, the things that genuinely interest you, as opposed to things you may do just to impress people, or because you feel like you have to.
I first got a taste of this dynamic when I studied abroad in Spain during college, which, uncoincidentally, is when I started this blog. And as someone from Massachusetts, this has continued to be the case in my first seven months living in Texas.
“If you want to know the truth of who you are,” said the author Patrick Rothfuss, “walk until not a person knows your name.” There is a lifetime of wisdom in that line.
Let me end by saying this: as a rule, good decisions optimize for the long-term, while bad decisions optimize for the short-term. Good decisions are ones you tell your family about with pride; bad decisions are ones you tell your friends about with a smile.
Great write-up, Jeff. You quoted the author Patrick Rothfuss towards the end - have you read his book series ‘the name of the wind’?
SOLID JEFF!TANK YOU.
JIM