There Are Two Americas
But not in the way that you think
We hear so much about how America is more divided than ever. Democrats and Republicans, Socialists and Capitalists, Christian nationalists and non-believers. We’re all at each other’s necks, apparently.
Now, these are obviously real divides and should not be downplayed. But at the same time, we’ve always been divided in religious and political terms. And so much of our media focuses on how the polarization is particularly bad now. I’m sure it is in some ways. But didn’t religious and political disputes almost automatically lead to violence the further you look back in the past? It was a normal thing. Whereas nowadays, the civilized among us recognize that the murders of conservative leader Charlie Kirk, and Democratic State Representative Melissa Hortman, for example, were both barbaric acts.1 Political and religious violence is more widely condemned and less common than it used to be.
Also, is this feeling of heightened division also not more due to the fact that we’re simply more exposed to what ideological division looks like because of the internet and social media? As we all know, social media disproportionately selects for the most extreme positions and situations, and often those are negative positions and situations.
What is genuinely new in terms of polarization, it seems, is the way we are divided socially. I’m thinking of the way in which some people have almost zero social life. For most of history, it was unfeasible that such a large percentage of the population could be so anti-social and still survive. But now they can, thanks to material abundance and digital technologies.
Consider a young man who is now able to spend most of his time completely isolated, because he is having his physiological needs (pseudo) met through DoorDash, online pornography, and parasocial “relationships” with influencers. Gambling on pro sports replaces becoming an athlete. Chatting on Reddit and Discord replaces going to parties.
The consequences of a world in which this is possible are predictable. According to Gallup, “based on aggregate data from 2023 and 2024, 25% of U.S. men aged 15 to 34 said they felt lonely a lot of the previous day.” Even more alarmingly, according to the Survey Center on American Life, “Thirty years ago, a majority of men (55 percent) reported having at least six close friends. Today, that number has been cut in half. Slightly more than one in four (27 percent) men have six or more close friends today. Fifteen percent of men have no close friendships at all, a fivefold increase since 1990.” This is the real “two Americas.”
A progressive from California who has a group of friends they go to Pilates and Starbucks with has more in common with a MAGA diehard from Arkansas who has a strong Church community, than with a friendless cynic who spends all day getting radicalized on Reddit. People without social connections are living in an entirely different universe.
They’re in a different universe because they lack one of the main needs of every human being. There is a near-endless supply of scientific evidence that being lonely is as destructive to one’s mind and health as just about anything else, and this is no surprise when you think about how we evolved.
Having good conversations and being around people should be viewed as a bodily function. Just as it is harmful to not hydrate or sleep or use the restroom, it is harmful to not be around people. It makes people ill. It’s that simple.
As far as I can tell, the division in America is less about southern states and northern states, “coastal elites” and middle American blue-collar people. It is more about people who have friends and go outside and people who don’t.
Key word civilized people.
Very interesting perspective Jeff. There are some gray areas, like people who spend time around others, continue to be very closed minded in their perspective and perpetuate their loneliness in public, or, those who use a lot of online technology but experience or create a sense of connection in the way they use the tools and the way they communicate with them. Not trying to poke holes in your premise, I think it's a useful look at a form of division that flies under the radar for sure. I do often think that much of North America is experiencing a form of mild to severe psychosis that comes literally just from failing to move their bodies in real time and space. Thought without movement is fantasy.