Why I Am So Happy

12 reasons for rapture

Oct 03, 2024

Disclaimer: I won the happiness lottery from day one—I have a loving family, a natural inclination to laugh, and have been to Disney World multiple times. But I also cultivate my cheerfulness. So let’s break down what goes into being merry and well.

1. I am in perpetual awe of the absurd miracle of existence

In some sense, we are a bunch of apes on a floating sphere spinning through an infinite, mostly empty, cold darkness.1

Yet here we are, doing cool stuff. Making art. Creating scientific explanations. Inventing technologies. Laughing until our stomachs hurt, listening to music that makes our hair stand up. Having wonderful date nights in aesthetically pleasing restaurants. Getting a good workout in with a friend, and walking out of the gym in a state of euphoria as you bump fists.

The fact that any of this is happening—the fact that anything exists at all—is an unspeakable mystery. I can’t help but marvel at it all the time, while smiling like an idiot.

2. I am an all-time great sleeper

During college, my roommates would sometimes come into my room around 9:30 P.M. A typical exchange would be something like:

“What are you doing, dude?”

“What do you mean what am I doing?” I would say.

“Are you seriously going to sleep right now?”

“I’m naked under the covers with my Kindle, so yeah, I’m going to sleep soon.”

No matter what they would say in these moments, my answer would usually be the same:

“Nah, I’m sheets.”

I would often get made fun of for going to bed early, but I did not care, because I never negotiate on my sleep. Seven to nine hours, no matter what. You can say what you want. I’m not listening.

Growing up, I hated that my mom made me go to bed so early, but now, I see how much it helped me. Sleep consolidates memories, repairs muscles, and stabilizes moods. People who puff their chests and say, "if you wanted it badly enough, you wouldn’t sleep until you got it," have it exactly backwards.

If you wanted it badly enough, you would sleep more.

3. I consistently do hard workouts

There is no happiness without health. Health starts with fitness. Fitness starts with being inspired by the Rocky Theme Song.

I remember standing in front of the TV with my brother and cousins when we were young, shadow boxing, watching Rocky climb up a mountain in Siberia, while being chased by the KGB. Talk about inspiring. Talk about an intense workout.

Intense workouts make literally everything in your life better—strength won in the gym translates to all aspects of your being. Everyone vaguely knows that “exercise is good for you,” yet somehow, people still underestimate how valuable it is for the quality of your mind.

4. I touch grass without any screens

I’m no exception in the amount of time I spend looking at screens. Whether it is working remotely, writing, doom scrolling, or texting memes to my friends.

Nevertheless, as you may have noticed, we’re not biologically designed to be constantly plugged into the digital world.

That’s why, when I go outside, I like to leave my phone at home. I like to be present. I like to let the sunlight wash over me. I like to let the movement of water fill my ears. Things like that. Things that are necessary for your biology.

5. I recognize negative emotions as inevitable and normal

Say it with me: If you feel anxiety, frustration, or sadness, it does not mean something is wrong with you, it means you are a human being. You are not alone in your experience of unpleasant feelings—they are common to all people. Even loneliness. Yes, that’s right—you are never alone in your loneliness. And sometimes for no reason at all, you feel fatigued, annoyed, or upset.

And that is okay. Así es la vida.2

6. I don’t delude myself into thinking I don’t need other people

I find few expressions more laughable than the line “I don’t care what people think about me.”

It’s an absurd thing to say. In reality, of course, we are hyper-social creatures that do care about our reputation with other people. There is no escaping this aspect of our nature.

The mistake is thinking this is somehow mutually exclusive with self-respect. Without self-respect, you have nothing. I agree with George Washington that “it is better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” Solitude is a savior. Give me that Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog energy all day.

But! At the same time! Nothing beats the joy of meaningful connections, deep friendships, and hilarious interactions. It takes tremendous delusion to convince yourself otherwise. Without community and friendship, you are like a plant deprived of sunlight and water.

7. I am obsessed with reading and learning

During the height of the pandemic, I stumbled upon something I will never forget. My dad keeps three stylish journals, one for each of his sons. They were always sitting on the counter between two couches in the living room. Despite seeing them every day, I realized I had never actually read them before.

Curious, I started with the journals of my brothers, laughing out loud in admiration at some of the entries. When I reached mine, one of the earliest lines read: “Jeffrey asks more questions than anyone I’ve ever met in my life.”

This experience recently made me think of David Deutsch’s Principle of Optimism, which says that all failures and evils stem from a lack of knowledge. The idea that the pursuit of knowledge can diminish suffering resonates deeply with me. How often do we look back at our mistakes and think, “If only I had known…”—much like the chorus of the song Ooh La La.

Ignorance isn’t bliss; it’s what keeps us from reducing our mental and physical suffering. Ignorance is the opposite of bliss.

8. I do things that scare me

Here is a list of some things that were scary to do:

Moving to Austin not knowing anyone
Launching this blog and creating on the internet
Reading books that give me existential anxiety
Solo traveling
Developing a weightlifting habit
Committing to speaking Spanish with native speakers

Here is a list of some of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done:

Moving to Austin not knowing anyone
Launching this blog and creating on the internet
Reading books that give me existential anxiety
Solo traveling
Developing a weightlifting habit
Committing to speaking Spanish with native speakers

9. I do creative stuff

Every day, I wake up early, head to a coffee shop, and write. Sometimes, I make random videos too. There’s something spectacular about losing track of time, being fully immersed in the present, making something.

Whether you write, paint, build a business, or sculpt—especially if you sculpt (oh my goodness do you sculpt?)—there’s a magic in getting lost in the process. Creation is inherently fulfilling. As John Steinbeck once said, it’s an “unspeakable ecstasy.”

The pride and satisfaction that comes from the creative act is the sweetest drug.

10. I know it could always be worse

The first time I read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, it completely changed my outlook on life. It reshaped the way I saw every so-called “problem.” The horrors Frankl endured gave me an almost panicked sense of gratitude. It’s about perspective. The harsh reality is that it’s easy to gain perspectives that can shock you like this.

It could always be worse.

11. I avoid the ride-off-into-the-sunset fallacy

In the show Mad Men, the strained face of Don Draper said, “What is happiness? It’s the moment before you need more happiness.”

A common delusion is that everlasting happiness is waiting just beyond the next achievement, the next experience, the next destination. Once you get there, once you get that thing, then you will finally be happy forever, then everything will be all set, and at last you will live perpetually blissed-out. This is the ride-off-into-the-sunset fallacy.

The truth is, fulfilling a desire only leads to the creation of another. So it goes. When you realize that no achievement, no new possession, and no experience will permanently satisfy your desires, you unlock a new level of internal freedom.

12. I don’t know what you mean by “I”

In the introduction to his translation of the Bhagavad Gita, Eknath Easwaran writes:

Instead of a single coherent personality, they (the sages) found layer on layer of components - senses, emotions, will, intellect, ego - each in flux. At different times and in different company, the same person seems to have different personalities. Moods shift and flicker, even in those who are emotionally stable; desires and opinions change with time. Change is the nature of the mind. The sages observed this flow of thoughts and sensations and asked, "Then where am I?" The parts do not add up to a whole; they just flow by.

There is a fluid nature to the mind. There is no solid, hardened thinker, but a flow of continuous ever-changing thoughts, a stream of consciousness. Thoughts come and go, swirling like water flowing in a river. You don’t have to attach to all these thoughts. Because a thought is not you. It is a thought. It is a passing content of your consciousness.

Once you understand this, everything changes. Once you can observe your mind in the present moment—like watching a movie or a stand-up comedy show—it feels as if you've awoken from a life-long spell. It is as if you are a reborn child.

Let me end by saying this: an underrated aspect of happiness is simply being able to laugh at yourself sometimes.

Your knowledge is a single grain of sand, while your ignorance is an infinite beach. Your unlikely existence is the result of an unbroken chain of life that stretches back into the mists of deep time. Why are you taking yourself so seriously? Can you please crack a smile? How can you not be in awe at the absurdity of it all?

Let this moment be enough. You can be happy right now.

But to be clear, I reject the pessimistic notion that humans are insignificant and unimportant in the grand scheme of things—what David Deutsch calls the Principle of Mediocrity. This idea is both self-defeating and false. For a deeper dive into this, I highly recommend Brett Hall’s podcast series on Deutsch’s The Beginning of Infinity.

That’s life.